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Gotten bored of me shifting blogs all the time? You're about to get even more bored.

I promise from within the depths of my soul that this is the last one in a long time

Sorry people who bother finding out where I blog all the time, I have to keep you on your toes you see. But this is the final one. PROMISE. Because the username is special and stuff

NATALIE NG HUI SHAN ROCKS

THANK YOU DANSEDESUBURBIA FOR TELLING ME ABOUT THIS I LOVE YOU

The trailer still matches my blog. Haha. Ok. History tiemz.
Yes I'm spamming all my thoughts before I withdraw from blogging completely, or semi-completely

Hahaha

I was walking through the park last night and one guy threw sodium chloride on me and another covered me in sulphuric acid.
It was terrible. I didn't know how to react.

Surrender

"God is using you in mighty ways He just told me to drop the wanderer from your blog name. You are no wanderer He says :)" - Nat

The idea of complete surrender intrigues me.

I'm not in school. So my sore throat has escalated into a cough which is shockingly recovering now? My throat does not hurt at all now. You have to hurt before you become new again I can ~*proverbise*~ every little event in my life so well. thismighty........ Me. Had great conversations this morning. Sometimes I just need some encouragement. Thanks guys

I'll probably not be blogging that often now. November 13th!

Elephants

I'm sorry I've been such a downer lately :( Fun blogs soon! After Penang.

Elephants
If the elephants have past lives, yet are destined to always remember, it's no wonder how they scream. Like you and I, they must have some temper

And I am dreaming of them on the plains, dirtying up their beds watching for some sign of rain to cool their hot heads

And how dare that you send me that card when I'm doing all that I can do? You are forcing me to remember and all I want is to just forget you

If the tiger shall protect her young and, tell me, how did you slip by? All my instincts have failed me for once, I must have somehow slept the whole night

And I am dreaming of them with their kill, tearing it all apart, blood dripping from their lips, teeth sinking into heart

And how dare that you say you will call when you know I need some peace of mind? If you had to take sides with the animals, won't you do it with one who is kind?

If the hawks in the tree need the dead, if you're living, you don't stand a chance, for a time, though you share the same bed. There are only two ends to this dance

You can flee with your wound just in time or lie there as he feeds, watching yourself ripped to shreds, laughing as you bleed

So, for those of you falling in love: Keep it kind, keep it good, keep it right; throw yourself in the midst of danger but keep one eye open at night


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Elephants says:
haha yeah
it describes a real situation though. it's like
someone likes someone but they know they have to let the person go
and they can't
and the person keeps drawing them back
it's like no matter what they do they can't forget. sigh
it's so beautiful

it's like sometimes when i like someone
i really give them all my emotion? it's extreme
and then it's like

it's so hard to let go because
you get so used to thinking about the person all the time


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This is the way I know you are always on my mind. Because even though today was full of chaos (misguided attempt at eating an apple to cure my sore throat; 4 bottles of Chinese herbal tea; pirated cable; good floorball; English) I can't help but mention you the first chance I get

Or maybe it's me being a teenager. Either way it's beautiful, I wish I could bottle it and sell it but it probably wouldn't do that well because nobody needs to buy a vial of an emotion they already have

Elephants says:
but sometimes it's easier to pretend to be happy
than explain to them why I'm sad

I'm going to depress you one by one

The week/weak in Bears.

Today on my walk, backdropped (not a word, but it will do) by Rachael Yamagata, typed into the Notes section of my iPod:

Smells like rain and I'm glad I made friends with the Sun today. Me and my friends (who weather through themselves) share the same thoughts and things we say are buried in hills of cement and clay.
The bears come out to play and I reckon this to be a test of faith of another kind. So I will make the bears my friends and we will dance with the Sun tonight.
Now the sky strips off its coat of violet and it is black underneath. And I start to wonder if these bears are still my friends. The smallest one tries to hold my hand. But it grazes its paw against my feet and leaves a mark and I know danger when I see it... I really feel it.
I saw the Sun with its rays tucked to its sides; a flaming friend that smiles at me; tells me to be free, not to worry that the bears have lost their warmth. I chased it across the wheat. The bears are after me and I CAN'T SHAKE THEM OFF. The Sun held one of its rays outstretched. The Sun said, "You are My daughter and I am the Son."


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"Is this pain going to take control of me? (You have to be with me) God, in Your power, could You make some sense of this? (Fighting for You only) God, if I crumble, could You take me back to forever? So I could love You beyond this."
- Landscape of the Beginning

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Letters scribbled on church service bulletins

When you're young and you have a crush on someone who doesn't really like you as much as you like him, just shrug it off. You're both going to grow up into wonderful people and think back and be able to laugh about the situation. Like... I could've liked you ten-fold how you liked me and now when I think about how you never wrote on my facebook wall back when I was fifteen, I LOL.

- Older Me to Future Ex-Boyfriend & Present Me

I feel better.

I THINK I MIGHT HAVE FOUND MY SOULMATE!?!?!?!?

This morning I scribbled down
"Give me grace to look beyond the malice and god, give me strength to weather through 16." and then I wrote a whole entire song with like A MELODY and VERSES and SHIT. WOW. Like, I know I say I always write songs, but I don't. Lah. I write lyrics that happen to fit into nice chord progressions (which are all the same. I FAIL.). Hehehehe. But now I feel accomplished. And happy. And content.

(He does read my blog)

I feel like Dan Humphrey. I caught Season 1 of GG on DVD and then gave up watching it. It is a nice show, though. My favourite things about Josh Schwartz are Chuck and The OC. And the fact that he married Rachel Bilson's best friend.

Which goes on to exemplify how much I like love stories. I romanticise everything. EVERYTHING. HELP!!!!!!

Singapore is so small.

Sigh. No. Resigned sigh. Hahaha

I wonder if people find my bad jokes funny. DO YOU FIND MY BAD JOKES FUNNY? Like when we were taking our temperature in the morning (in school) and my temperature was 35.2 and it was 35.4 the day before, and I was a bit disconcerted by my cold-blooded nature so I told Brenda, "I'm just your regular half-reptile, half mammal. I'm a remmal." I then proceeded to laugh long and hard. That's what she said. HAHAHAHA ew.

Cass: Sarah, I like how the jokes you find funniest are your own.
Me: I NEED TO TWEET THAT! I NEED TO TWEET THAT

I did tweet it. But at this point, everyone's like, "Yeah ok, is there anything you don't tweet?" To which I simply answer, "No, no there isn't."

In the quiet beneath the trees, do you remember the days that were so beautiful to me?
I still maintain the desire to have more songs with horn sections in them.

I wish I had perfect sentence structure. Then my life would be PERFECT too. I'm going swimming today. And studying Social Studies and Chemistry by the poolside. I'm a Libra-- we're all about *~balance~*.

It always should be like this.

Claustrophobia.... right.......

WROTE A RIDICULOUSLY LONG PARAGRAPH ABOUT HOW EVERYONE KNOWS EVERYONE'S BUSINESS AND EVERYONE IS SO PAINFULLY HIP THAT THEY DON'T REALLY KNOW IF THEY SHOULD ACCEPT THAT YOU'RE A PATHOLOGICAL OVER-THINKER OR SMILE AND BE POLITE INSTEAD OF GETTING TO KNOW YOU

Realised I hate divulging secrets and that everything could be summarised in one sentence

I've been editing and deleting! *feels better* what's with my compulsions? I feel compelled to do the strangest things, make the strangest things look nice, make the strangest things look ugly...

I want to know my fate if I keep up this way
It's hard to want to stay awake and everyone you meet they all seem to be asleep
You wonder if you're missing your dream
You can't see your dream
You can't see your dream
You just can't see your dream