I don't feel like it everyday.
Sorry Sarah, I can't churn out funny posts like you. Right now I just feel like my heart has crawled out of my ribcage and into my throat and its just. Lying there. Biding its time. One day it'll fall out onto the plate before me and everyone at the party will look at me awkwardly for a while before bursting into laughter.
I feel like one by one, all my friends are going to get tired of me and my stupid anxiety attacks and my sick sad feelings and just get up and go. Quite possibly this will happen very soon. I mean, one can't deal with the same girl crying and throwing herself into corners weeping, right?
Which is why I don't want to ask certain people, "why aren't you there for me like I was for you?" because I feel like they do have a reason for this.. desertion
OK SORRY FOR THE EMO BLA BLA BLA I JUST FEEL SO TIRED OF MYSELF AND I CAN'T HELP FEELING THIS WAY ALL THE TIME. AND ANOTHER FRIEND JUST TOLD ME "MAYBE ITS CUZ YOU TAKE SO MUCH AND YOU DON'T GIVE" THIS MAKES ME WANT TO CRUMPLE AND FOLD INWARDS.
because i do give, i give so much of myself till i feel like i'm a vacuum of other people's feelings.
ok, WHATEVER
MY LIFE IS AWESOME
also, i have a cheesecake baking in the oven.
i love you,
N
